Friday, November 02, 2007

The Romo Conspiracy

The following is not a fantasy article but fan fiction.

The following story is pure fan-fiction, not to be taken as factual. It is a spoof comedy piece. This is not an attack on any of the individuals in the story. This was spurred on by Tony Romo being seen with Britney Spears during his off week.

On Monday of week 8 of the 2007 Season, in their evil headquarters somewhere in a swap meets a rogue band of NFL Owners. Daniel Snyder, owner of the vile Redskins, called the meeting order. The meeting included other shady owners: Jeffrey Lurie of the Eagles; and John Mara and Steve Tisch owners of the Giants. Their meeting was for one sinister reason, to find a way to stop Tony Romo from beating them.

As they pondered how they might be able to slow down Romo so their teams will still have a chance to win the NFC East, the brainstorming ideas were all over the map. One of Lurie's henchmen quickly entered the room and brought him important information. After much trolling of the internet, they have might have found what they were looking for.

Jeff Lurie announced the rest of the group in a spooky gruff voice, "We have found Romo's weakness." This appeared to delight the room. John Mara exclaimed with excitement, "Tell me boy what can we ..." The sentenced was finished by his twin owner Steve Tisch, "… use to stop this offensive weapon of the Boys!" Snyder, the mastermind of this evil group sat back in his chair rubbing his chin patiently awaiting the good news. Lurie spoke slowly in his gruff tone, "It appears that Romo has an obsession with Britney Spears and her panty-less pictures. He has been downloading these photos continually during his off time."

Snyder had a disappointed look on his face. He quickly lashed out at Lurie, "How can this help us! Lots of red-blooded America men download those photos. This is pointless."

Lurie responded with an vile grin. "You don't understand. This does give us a huge edge. Britney is one of our Eagle skanky Fem-bots. She is a robot that we use to seduce various Free Agents to come to the Eagles. If they decide not to come, she leaves them with a very special VD. It is untreatable without our antidote. It causes severe pain to the player where they can not focus on the game. It will turn great players into below average players if not treated. All we have to do is to get Romo to go out with Britney on the off week and we will have him!" He exclaimed. Then he followed it up with a sinister laugh Oh, ha, ha, ha! The other members followed with their own sinister laughs. The plan was to be put into immediate action with Britney calling Romo.

The bands of villainous owners met the next week. They were all pleased with the results. Entertainment television was reporting that Tony was seen with Britney over the weekend. Their plan had taken affect. If Britney had followed her programming, she would have slept with Romo and infected him. Romo was reporting that he was just friends with Britney but that would be inconceivable to believe.

As they watched the reports on the Cowboys practice, they were disappointed. There was no mention of Romo playing poorly or being in pain. Maybe Jerry Jones was just protecting his new multi-million dollar investment by not reporting it. Lurie was confident that his fem-bot had delivered the VD and that they would beat the Cowboys on Sunday. At this point, all that the rogue band could do was waiting until Sunday's game to see if they had found Romo's weakness.

(This story is strictly copyrighted. Please do not use without the consent of the author. This story is an orginal story by the author.)

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