On the Monday before the 2008 Playoffs began, in their evil headquarters somewhere in a swap meets a rogue band of NFL Owners once again. As Daniel Snyder, owner of the vile Redskins, call their sinister meeting to order. “Fellow evil NFC East Owners, I come before you in our mission to find Tony Romo’s weakness. We have tried several things to stop him including the Britney-Bot but yet we have continued to fail. I have been contacted by the mysterious Mister X who thinks he can help us with our mission.”
The dastardly Twin owners of the Giants, John Mara and Steve Tisch, agreed that they would like to hear from Mister X. Eagles' owner, Jeffrey Lurie, remained skeptical of this unknown entity. He hissed “How can we trust this Mister X and why would he want to help us?”
With utmost cockiness, Snyder venomously responded, “Because I said so! Trust me; he wants to see the Cowboys knocked out of the playoffs as bad as we do. He has a plan to do it.” This appeared to convince this group of Legion of Doom want-to-bes.
Snyder activated the view monitor to reveal the mysterious Mister X. Initially it appeared that his identity was covered by his cloak. On further examination, the evil owners realized that Mister X’s identity was being masked by the blue hooded sweat shirt.
Speaking through a voice scrambler, Mister X spoke “I understand your evil group is seeking a way to stop the nauseously happy Tony Romo. I believe I have a plan to take him down. Since Jessica is a known weakness, I suggest you use her to take him down.”
In unison, the twin owners of the Giants quickly responded, “How can we use her to take Romo down other than having her show up at their next game? She has already learned not to do that any more.”
Mister X slowly spoke, “I suggest you enlist the service of Jessica’s sister. She has a motive to pay her older sister back for her lack of success. I have already set it up. If you allow her to sing during half time at each of your stadiums next season, then she will help you. She is willing to convince Jessica to take Romo to
Lurie turned pail white and exclaimed “If we let Ashley Simpson sing at our half times, there will be riots from our fans! We will probably lose season ticket holders. That price is very high. I don’t know”
Snyder calmly responded, “I am willing to pay that price to see Romo crash again in the play offs. But what will you get from this arrangement, Mr. X. Why help us take down Romo.”
Mister X slowly said, “I have my reasons. I guess you could say I feel it is my Patriotic Duty.”
The vile conspiracy agreed to the terms and set the evil plan in motion.
Will Tony fall victim to a blonder from his ditsy blond bombshell of a girlfriend or will he once again outwit the foulest of plans from this wicked organization? Tune in next Sunday for the results.
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